tired.

phew.

i'm so tired.

ARGH.

stupid.

meaningful lesson

''in this life, everyone has a baggage of invisible heavy rocks weighing on their shoulders. unfortunately it wasn't visible rocks, for it would be very easy for one to throw them away, lessoning their load. therefore it depends on one to decide how should they manage their pile of invisible rocks. for how bad, or how good they feel, the invisible rocks would still be there.''

haha. it should be SOMETHING like that. lols. i jst came back from fo tang and this quote from the lecturer seemed very applicable to me and my life. lols. overall message of this quote: STAY POSITIVE! STAY PROTON! HAHAHAHA!

i'm still at grandma's. i wonder when the rest are going to come over to my house. hahaha. i can't wait man. but. sighs. xinying i'm so sorry you couldn't come over. if only my dad's car was bigger... maybe we'll watch hsm3 again another time:D:D:D

i'll see when i can post pictures. i have lots of pictures to post! sports carnival, etc, etc, etc,... hahaha! i can't wait!

best class of '09.

yes 4/6 DID IT! we're the champion class of the 2009 sports carnival! although the whole event didn't last long, i sure have cherished the times we spent as a class today. today may be the last time we will play together as a class and a team. and being the champion class makes this day even more meaningful for our class. sighs. I LOVE 4/6. isabel sprained her same ankle again, and bernice rolled on the floor and hurt her hip. haha!

after that isabel shuhui jerica yanshing jun feng chinwei and alicia's clique and yanjun and natalie went to watch the race to the witch mountain. haha. VERY NICE! the boy alien is like so hot. hahaha! then we went to macdonald's there to gossip until 7. WHAHAHAAS! today is a fun day!

and this is a super nice song! live is better:

THANK YOU.

finally i get to heave a sigh of relief. it was a fortunate thing i didn't screw my whole performance up, considering i still have problems with the high notes in the morning. haha. but seriously, honey does helps. it saved my life today man. hahaha! although the front part was screwwed up abit, but i guess everything went well. ahha! mrs thong said the song i sent brought back alot of memories for her. lucky us.

i planned to give everyone a surprise of my performance today, but eventually shuhui got to know about it and told everyone. they were gathered in front of the stage there supporting me. THANKS PEEPS.

well after the performance a number of friends and schoolmates came forward and shook my hand. my god. seriously i'm not very used to this. i wondered how many times have a said 'thank you'. haha. but it's quite a wonderful experience too. i remember this girl atiqah(sp?) from 4/3 i think. i was so shocked when she came forward and told me she liked it. lols. a new friend today:)

surprisingly too, i got my files completed for fil check. haha! i kena'ed for humans, poa, and math. ARGH. luckily i managed to do them all by today. lols. i think i have to chiong HW this few days to catch up for the lost times in KL. haha. but i think it will be worth it la. pity we will not get to stay in HILTON HOTEL. ARGH! it's such a letdown. but NEH MIND! we're going to have fun nevertheless!

i can't wait for KL trip and everything that has to come for me! hahaha!

i can't explain this feeling...

i can't sleep.
not with an unstable heart.
i don't know why, but i feel very weird.
not a feeling so easy to describe.
i feel very sad.
desolated.
lost.
EMPTY.

and most importantly, I DON'T KNOW WHY.
my mother just praised and encouraged me after looking at my CT.
so i SHOULDN'T BE FEELING THIS WAY.
but I CAN'T HELP IT.
and I DON'T KNOW WHY.


AND THAT'S WHY I'M EATING CHOCOLATE COOKIES NOW.

DOES ANYONE KNOW THE REMEDY TO MY 'ILLNESS'???

life's been busy

YEPS. really busy. i didnt even have time to watch my NEW HSM3 DVD OK! hahha! just to update. hmms. school's been really fun. especially with the ongoing service learning trips to AWWA and recently, KL. hopefully these activities will secure me a place in child psychology in poly. i've been really inspired to be one after reading the book 'daniel isn't talking'. a very fun and touching read. i felt very lucky to have borrowed this book, having to literally pluck it out from the librarian's trolley when she's shelving the books. i'll never forget the story. and daniel, of course. someday i'll buy all these books. and keep. hahaha. i even made a silent vow to myself to collect books written by torey hayden. i can tell she's good. hahaha.

the trip to AWWA SMILES was a really fulfilling one. i've been so glad to have participated in this service learning. gave me an insight to how special schools work. and getting in contact with children with special needs motivated me to work harder to get into my desired course. i want to make a difference! hahaha! there was a boy named joel who was really friendly. should to everyone with arms wide open 'HELLO EVERYONE! I'M JOEL!' SUPER CUTE. made people do silly things too. ahaha. very entertaining. even mrs lee said he has very good leadership capabilities. WHAHAHAS! i went towards this table where a number of pupils were doing puzzles and writing. that's when i met rong zhen and matthew. rong zhen is quite shy, didn't dare to look me in the eye. i was quite nervous myself too. this particular girl later became very attached to isabel, dragging her and her hurt ankle everywhere. it's quite a funny scene la, that isabel. matthew didn't really talk much too. i realised these students didn't like to look into people's eyes when they communicate. but it's ok. at least they acknowledge my presence by replying;D then i went to play UNO with 2 wheelchair-bound pupils with the SMU seniors. it's fun. best UNO game i've ever played in my whole life. ethan came to join us. he's also a wheelchair bound, with talking disabilities too. but he's cute, and very coorperative. i suppose he should be a very easy child to take care of. then matthew came and disturbed. haha. it was both shocking and happy when he came nudging at me demanding 'JIE JIE BAO BAO!' and eased himself up to my laps. i've never felt this sense of SIMPLICITY before. it's very difficult to express my feelings la. and haha, although i'm quite nervous, it's really a miracle i didn't drown in my tears at that moment. my nose and eyes were already turning sour once i stepped inside the room. so overall. a very very well spent day with these children. i'm so looking forward to giving them the perfect sports carnival on coming monday. I CAN'T WAIT!

after that we accompanied isabel to the sinseh to rub her sore ankle. to be more precise i accompanied her in. lols. another unforgettable event in that particular day. i myself was also very very scared. hahaha. can't tell how our positions are like, but when she's in pain she'll take my hand and SQUEEZE, and LEAN INTO ME, then my hand will lean on the wall for support. the sinseh must have laughed about it. and through that, i also come to know how acupuncture and the heating things worked. all thanks to isabel, her ankles, and hmms. DANIEL? haha. he was the one who isabel crashed into and fell as a result/

there's also another overseas service learning trip. not to yunnan, SADLY. but in KL. equally fun. through AWWA i also came to understand that the location doesn't matter, what matters most is that you are having fun and the time of your lives. life's good, tests and examinations are just to make things more complicated in this simple world that everyone came to take it for granted. argh. HAHA. MY quote of the day. >.< I CAN'T WAIT FOR KL AND THE FUN WE'LL BE HAVING. we'll make our senior year more meaningful. sighs. such memories will last me for a lifetime. my god i'm being emotional. it's not the time. haha.

education wise. hmms. i love mdm jo. she's such an inspiring teacher that the class has come to respect. i'm sure to give her A BIG HUG when i come back to school to get my results next year. NEXT YEAR. SIGHS. so near yet so far. she's real good. another reason why i came to not bear with my secondary school afte graduation. sighs. i hope my results won't disappoint her.

mr radha's cute too. hahaha. his jokes are lame, but entertaining. i've started tuition with uncle lawrence. it's worth it la. haha!

ok yea. and friends. i've came down with flu this week. SHUHUI MADE HERBAL TEA FOR ME UPON HEARING I DON;T HAVE LIANG CHA AT HOME. made me cry., haha. ellis was too good to me. haha. helped me with my pencil case and all. lols. tell me to get well soon too. must have not got used to me being so quiet ba. whahhaas! even kames asked me whether i was angry yesterday when the flu was on it's worst. haha. truth is, i just looked fierce when i'm not smiling. that's why i always keep a cheerful front. but i just can't help to break my 'practice' yesterday. flu's hitting me hard. i'm recovering. thanks to xinling, i've coughed out alot of tan2 today. it's gross man. hahaha.

ok that's all. i'll update maybe after my AWWA trip. when i get all sad and teary. lols!

a quote from zac efron on trying to maintain a normal life:
''True, but well I can’t complain, because it’s part of my job. I wanted what’s happening to me. You just have to seize the day and enjoy it, because one day the craziness will die down anyway. This is the life I’ve always wanted, I made my own destiny, I’ve been passionate and worked really hard to get what I have now. So today, I’m very happy about my life, there’s no way you’ll see me whining cos it’s a bit 'complicated' for the moment''